When Schedules Don't Line Up

In a house with kids, grandparents, and everybody in between, the calendar does not line up. Bedtimes don't match. Energy doesn't either. That's not a failure of the household. That's the household.

We still eat together almost every night, at a candlelit table, with a home-cooked meal most of the time. That doesn't mean everybody sits down at the same minute, or needs the same size plate. I try to make one meal that can work in waves if it has to. I wrote about that in Cooking for Every Generation.

The morning has its own stagger. The bread machine and the coffee are on a timer, so the first person up walks into a kitchen that's already going. Everyone packs a lunch, which helps when people leave at different hours. Rhythms are how we make it work. That's in Rhythms Are How We Make It Work.

After a stroke, rest is part of the work. If I skip it, the rest of the day gets worse, and the people I live with feel that even if I pretend they don't. An older adult may need a different rest pattern than a child, and a summer day in Anthem can spend the energy I was saving for the evening. I wrote about fatigue in Fatigue Is a Planning Problem, Not a Character Flaw.

If we've been out, the evening schedule should change. That's part of travel pacing too. The day after a trip is still part of the trip, and I wrote about that in The Day After We Get Home. A calendar that doesn't include recovery time is a calendar for a different body than mine, and for a milder climate than this one.

A little privacy helps the schedule too. A door that can close, a quieter corner, a way for someone to step out of the current. That's in Privacy in a Full House.

If you want the story of the house, start with One Roof, Three Generations.