The Pace I Travel Is the Pace I Live

The way I travel and the way I live at home are the same idea. My body sets the speed. Then we still go.

The way I travel and the way I live at home are the same idea. My body sets the speed. The people I love come with me when they can. We leave room for heat, stairs, fatigue and the day after. Then we still go.

This site is about the life around those trips: leaving, returning and keeping a household that can do both. The destination guides already have a home. I also write about accessible family travel at Travel at My Pace. Our Japan trips have their own site, Japan at My Pace.

A slower pace, in both directions

On March 14, 2016, I had a massive stroke. Recovery meant relearning a lot of things I had never thought about, from walking steadily to managing fatigue. Some of that never fully came back. My balance isn't what it was, and my body doesn't handle heat the way it used to. I also live with trigeminal neuralgia.

I still travel with my wife, Joanna. We just do it at my pace.

That sentence is as true at home in Arizona as it is on a trail in Japan. A trip is not a separate personality I put on at the airport. If I try to walk all day, skip lunch and treat rest like something I have to earn, I pay for it on the trip and when we get back. A full house cannot absorb a crashed day after a "successful" trip without someone else picking up the slack. So the pace had to become the plan, not the consolation prize.

I wrote more about what changed after 2016 in After the Stroke, Life Had to Slow Down. The short version, for this page, is that slower is how we get there, and slower is how we live when we are not going anywhere.

Arizona first, close to home

Anthem, Arizona, is home. Apart from Texas, where we lived for a while, it's the place I know best, and it's a hard place to travel if heat is a problem. That is why the Arizona guides keep coming back to shade, early hours and air-conditioning.

A day trip or an overnight still has to fit a full house. Someone may need a place to sit. Someone may be little, and someone may be older, and both of them are in the same car. That lens is already how I write the travel guides. It is also just our life.

If you want the place-by-place notes, they live on Travel at My Pace. A few places to start:

I won't rewrite those reviews here. The point on this site is simpler: traveling close to home is part of living at our pace. You can go, and you can still get back to the same kitchen the same day. Arizona First: Traveling Close to Home stays with that idea.

Japan, twice, and what we brought home

Joanna and I have been to Japan twice. In April 2018, about two years after the stroke, we spent about a month there: Tokyo in cherry blossom season, Kyoto, Osaka, and then the part I was most nervous about, walking the Kumano Kodo through the mountains of the Kii Peninsula.

We didn't do it the hard way. We walked short stages, sent our bags ahead, used trekking poles, took buses when it made sense and stayed in a ryokan with a private outdoor bath at the end of it. We got there. That's the point. We went back for Christmas 2019 and New Year 2020, with Hakone, Tokyo Disney and teamLab.

I want to be straight about what those trips mean on this site. They are not a before-and-after story, and they are not proof that everything came back. Some of it didn't. They are proof that a slower pace can still hold a real trip, if you plan for rest, heat and the limits you actually have.

The full journal is on Japan at My Pace. If you want the walking story, start with Walking the Kumano Kodo after a stroke. If heat is your problem, as it is mine, a stroke survivor's cooling kit is there too.

What I brought home is less a souvenir than a habit. Short days. A turnaround point agreed in advance. A way to sit down. Food when you are tired, even if it is not the meal you had pictured. Those habits work on a pilgrimage trail. They also work at a grocery store in the Arizona summer, and on the day after a flight.

Traveling with the whole family

Since our kids came along, my reviews have started noticing different things: shallow water instead of a swimming hole, splash pads and misters, booths away from the noisy bar, and whether the bathroom was clean. That's the lens for the travel guides, and it belongs here too.

A trip with kids and older relatives in the same car is not a different genre of travel. It is the same pace, with more people who need it. You look for shade before you need it. You do not plan a day that only works if nobody gets tired. You decide, ahead of time, what would make you turn around. The family lens on the travel sites already says who a place suits, from toddlers to grandparents, and what the access is like. This site just names the obvious: the people in the house are the people in the plan. Traveling With Kids and Older Relatives is the longer version.

Leaving, and the day we get home

Getting a full household out the door is part of the trip. So is the day after we get home. Unpacking, laundry, rest and a simple first meal are not the leftovers of travel. They are how a slower trip actually ends. If we come home and try to "catch up" immediately, the pace we used on the trip gets thrown out right when I need it most.

The rule I keep is this: build in the day after. If a trip only works when you come home and pretend you are not tired, it is not our kind of trip. I wrote more about coming home in The Day After We Get Home.

How I decide whether to go

The question is not "can I tough it out." The questions I actually use are plainer:

How hot will it be, and is there a real way to get out of the heat?
How much walking is required, and where can I sit?
Who is coming, and does the day work for the slowest person in the group, not the most ambitious one?
What does the day after look like, at home?

If those answers are honest, we can go a long way, including across the Pacific. If they are not, we can still have a good day closer to home. That is not giving up. That is living at the same pace I travel. How I Decide Whether a Trip Is Worth the Energy is the planning version of this list.

Where to read the travel guides

If you came for trip planning, start in the right place. For Arizona and other places closer to home, start at Travel at My Pace. The Phoenix Zoo, Sedona, Lake Powell and Sky Harbor guides are a good first path. For Japan, start at Japan at My Pace, with the Kumano Kodo essay, the cooling kit and Fushimi Inari at your own pace.

The places themselves stay on the sites already written for them. If you want the household this pace comes from, read One Roof, Three Generations. If you want the kitchen we come home to, start with What I Mean by Eating Well at Home.

I'm sharing my experience, not medical advice. Talk with your doctor or therapist about what's safe for you, especially with heat, walking and long days away from home.